FNZ

Some of you have this problem I'm sure. I don't because I don't have a girlfriend, wife or even a female that occasionally rubs up against me on accident. Anyway some of you are troubled with this and the holiday that exploits this problem is only a week away. Everybody has to get their significant other SOMETHING on Valentines day, or they'll be pulling up a seat next to me on the loser couch. Maybe, just maybe this is the year to go that extra mile and really show her what you think about her. Jewelry, roses and chocolate are what you usually opt for, but lets be honest, you don't really like her enough for jewelry and if you go for the other to she thinks you're cheap and she'll eat at your ass until Christmas and you'll have to spend more in the long run for the make up gift.I say why not add a little laughter this Valentines day and send something to her at the job that will have all her co-workers talking the rest of the day guaranteed. Rest assured none of her girlfriends will have received a delivery quite like this. Plus when you go through with it, and she gets pissed, you can easily cop out and say something like, "Honey, I thought it was funny.. I thought you'd appreciate the humor in it." Added bonus is you can get away with telling your buddies when they ask you what you got her "I got her shit!" If all else fails, it was cheap enough to still get her a real gift (pussy). So go ahead, nut up this year and send her a fecalgram! Somebody's gotta do this, and send me the story. I would definitely do it, but I can't get a broad of my own.

Thank god I'm back from that hellhole. It was the worst deployment I've ever been a part of. It was good though, I got a chance to see some things that I'd never been exposed to before. For instance what a MEO case is all about. Apparently the word cunt is different than all others. You call a female co-worker a cunt and all hell breaks loose. You can get in trouble for saying that even if the accuser didn't hear you say it. Just the mention of the word cunt and everyone shivers like you have gone too far. Personally I like to use the word more now. I liked it before, I love it now. Also I learned that there are homosexuals out there in today's Armed forces. The policy needs to be revised to don't ask, don't tell, don't mention and don't even think the obvious. Sure enough, got in trouble for that too. I learned also that sending pornographic email on a government computer is a more serious offense than Driving under the influence. I received a harsher punishment for that than when I got into a high speed chase with cops at .22 BAC. What a crazy world. So all in all, good to be back. I lost some weight, a stripe, and 2 games of Madden while I was away, but I'm still here and kickin. Barely though, I only lasted about 2 hours at the bar on my return. I guess I stayed there longer, but anything after 2 hours is just heresay... DAMN YOU REDBULL AND VODKA!